
Hopestream for parenting kids through drug use and addiction
Hopestream is the defacto resource for parents who have a teen or young adult child who's misusing drugs or alcohol, hosted by Brenda Zane. Brenda is a Mayo Clinic Certified health & wellness coach, CRAFT-trained Parent Coach, and mom of a son who nearly lost his life to addiction. Guests include addiction, prevention, and treatment experts, family members impacted by their loved one's substance use, and wellness and self-care specialists. You'll also hear heartfelt messages from me, your host. It's a safe, nurturing respite from the chaos and confusion you live with. We gather in our private communities between the episodes in The Stream community for moms. Learn more at www.hopestreamcommunity.org/the-stream/.
Hopestream for parenting kids through drug use and addiction
What You May Not Want To Hear: Ten Hard Truths Parents Need To Know If Your Child Is Misusing Substances, with Brenda Zane
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
This week I’m bringing back an episode from 2020 that is just as relevant today as it was then. The episode covers ten hard truths parents need to face when you recognize potential substance use, or if you know you’re dealing with an addiction.
It’s a great episode for those who are new to the experience of having your child dabble in or become dependent on substances, and there are also truths that apply to the seasoned parent who’s been at this for a while.
This is a straight-forward, lay-it-all-out-there episode that I hope will bring a sense of urgency if you’ve been floundering with what to do, and encourage you to share it with a friend if someone you know is in the early stages of, “what do I do!?” with their child or children.
EPISODE RESOURCES:
- Download the show PDF resource doc here
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Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
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Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol
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Know that you are influential. Draw those lines and don't be vague about it. Pull in your professional help. Get those PhDs and licensed social workers on your side and on your team, and just know that you absolutely do have influence and keep talking and keep modeling for them the behavior that you want to see in them because they're watching. And they're listening, and it may not look like it, it may look like they're in a completely different realm - like they're an alien that you don't even know what world they live in, but they are watching you and they're listening to you.
[00:00:37] Welcome to Hopestream
Welcome to Hope Stream, the podcast for parents of teens and young adults struggling with substance use and mental health. I'm Brenda Zane. I've walked this path with my own child's addiction and high risk lifestyle. Each week we help you gain clarity, learn new skills, and most importantly, find real hope in what might feel helpless.
You are not helpless, and you're not alone anymore. Find more resources at hopestreamcommunity.org.
[00:01:10] Episode introduction
Hi friend. I am back to tee up another episode from The Vault. I'm taking a bit of my own medicine this summer and spending more time doing less, and I thought it might be helpful to re-air some episodes that might have been long forgotten or are sleepers [00:01:30] in the vast catalog of 280-plus episodes from the last five and a half years.
I was super relieved to realize that when I listened to episode 15. (Yes, I hopped in the way back time machine and found this episode that I recorded back in 2020) and when I did, I was relieved to know that all 10 of the 10 hard truths I shared still hold true. And a couple are even more critical and more important than they were in 2020.
I remember recording this episode and wondering if it was gonna be too direct, maybe a little too difficult for you to hear because I did not mince words or soften these points because even then I felt so passionate about them.
I'm glad I did just go with my gut on it though, because it was important to relay this information then, and it is equally important today. This is a great episode. If you're fairly new to the experience of realizing that your child may have a substance use problem, but there are a few of the 10 hard truths that will apply even if you are a well-seasoned parent who wears a, not my first rodeo t-shirt.
It's also a great one to share with a friend who is starting to see signs and maybe freaking out. It's a great introduction to some of the CRAFT and Invitation To Change tools and mindsets that they would benefit from [00:03:00] knowing.
Just a note, since this was recorded several years ago, you are going to hear me talk about high-potency marijuana. And since the recording in 2020 potencies have only gotten higher. To where vape pens and dabs and waxes are now often at a 90% plus potency, which I wanted to call out because at the time of recording this in 2020, I was shocked at the 23% that we were seeing on the market at the time.
She, if we had only known. Also, I wanted to mention that there is a great PDF that you can download for this episode where we gathered up all the resources I talked about, dusted them off. Added some new ones and put them all in a handy downloadable, so go to Hopestreamcommunity.org/resources so you can grab that totally free.
Okay, let's spin this one up. Take a listen to the 10 hard truths you need to know if your child is experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Circa 2020 and 100% relevant for today, 2025. Enjoy.
[00:04:14] Welcome to some hard truths
Today's episode is all about some hard truths that you need to hear if your child is experimenting or actually you've confirmed that they are doing drugs or alcohol. [00:04:30] And this is a tough one for a lot of people, for a lot of parents in particular because it's hard. There's a lot of hard stuff you gotta do when you know this.
And having been through this with myself and also with lots of parents I can tell you that it's, it's tempting and sometimes easier in the short term to sort of bury your head in the sand and hope that this is gonna go away. And so this episode is just gonna be. 10 hard truths that you have to know and you know, you may end up.
Kind of skipping over a few if you feel like they don't apply at this point, but you also may want to come back to some of them because they may apply in another time. So this is for you parents if you are in that stage where. You've smelled weed a few times or you've heard from a neighbor that there was a lot of alcohol at the party that the kids were at last weekend, and you may be getting knots in your stomach when your son or daughter comes home and they quickly avert and avoid your eyes before they disappear into their room.
Because it's. Hard, it's hard to know what's going on. It's hard to know how to respond to that. And all I could say is welcome to the difficult years. It is hard and that's why I am, I'm sharing these 10 truths with you so that you'll have some insight and also have [00:06:00] some. Ideas of what you can do and some things that you probably want to avoid doing.
And I know how everybody feels because I've been in these your shoes as well, saying, you know, this can't be right. This can't be right. My kid's not using drugs. There's probably a friend in the car who is smoking pot. You know, when you smell it on his jeans, in the laundry, that's probably why. Or, , you may have talked to , your son or daughter a couple of times about how disappointed you would be if they used alcohol, if they drank, especially if they, were to drink and drive.
But it hasn't really been an ongoing conversation with them. It's something that you've mentioned a few times, but not made a huge deal about. And so a lot of times in this phase, I call it the gray zone. Parents tend to hope and wish and pray and think that this is just a phase.
And I can tell you from sort of six years of scar tissue that you can avoid some of the. Drama and some of the pain and anxiety that comes along with teen substance use. If you are to keep your head high, keep your eyes open, be vigilant, be alert. Don't be, afraid to be the parent and to be the person who has to deliver the bad news or be the one who you know is a bummer sometimes because you don't allow certain things.[00:07:30]
I promise you that is gonna be a lot less painful than going through what myself and a lot of other parents have been through, where what seems to be very innocent and sort of experimental use turns into something more. And I 100% can guarantee you that that's gonna be more painful than having some ongoing healthy and productive dialogue with your kids, before they get there.
So in the absence of having a Sherpa along with me when my son was 13 and started experimenting with, with pot and with alcohol, I just completely fumbled along in the dark. I cried a lot, I yelled a lot. I beat myself up a lot and. None of that really made me effective as a parent, as a mom or as somebody that my son could turn to for help and to turn to with questions.
And in, in light of all of that, I put together these 10 truths for you and it won't be a fun. Thing to hear sometimes. But I think they're really important and I think if you are in this, in the phase where you are questioning whether your child may or may not be getting into something more serious, this could be really, really helpful for you.
[00:08:45] Hard Truth #1
Okay, so number one, I. It's probably more than what they're telling you. So I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if your son or daughter is saying, oh, I just, I smoked a little pot once in a while, or, every [00:09:00] once in a while I will. Or I just tried a beer at this party, but I really hated it.
You are gonna wanna dig a little deeper. There is lots of research out there that will be all. This will be linked to the show notes. That kids tend to understate their usage and they do this because A, they're kids and they don't wanna get in trouble, but also they don't wanna freak you out and they don't wanna scare you.
And if they are still in the experimentation phase and they're not addicted, they probably see this as really harmless behavior. Some research shows up to about 50% how much and how often they're using. So things that you wanna. Stay aware of in this phase and, and when you're trying to figure this out, is really look at their moods, really look at their demeanor, their friends, their appearance.
And if this is something that you have either seen or smelled or you just really strongly suspect drug or alcohol use, you're gonna wanna dive deeper. And moms tend to have a very, very good sense, that intuitive sense of what's going on with their kids. And so listen to that. Don't. Ignore that and don't just think that you're crazy or think that you are, on, on the bad side of your kid if you're really feeling it in your gut and you kind of know that is what you wanna listen to.
And again, it's probably more than they're telling you.
[00:10:29] Hard Truth #2
Number [00:10:30] two, it's okay to search their room if you suspect they're using drugs or alcohol. This is. Sometimes controversial, but I will give you my take on it. Your child, most likely, I'm guessing, lives in a home environment of some sort home, condo, apartment, whatever that you are paying for.
And if they're under the age of 18, you are legally obligated to take care of them and to ensure their health and their safety to the best of your ability. That means that you may need to dig a little bit to understand the scope of what they're involved in and the scope to which their health and wellness might be at risk.
And this can feel bad. I know because I've done it and you, you. It just doesn't feel good. I know we all want to protect our kids' privacy, but if you suspect or you know that they're using, this is just something that you're gonna have to do and they're gonna get really pissed off about it. I can just tell you that now, if they find out you're, they're gonna get mad.
And that's okay. That is your job is to know what they're doing to know. To what degree they're doing and what you find will give you some indications about what they're doing. And this is one time when you really need to put on your Sherlock hat. So don't do just a general look around and then say, oh, nope, I didn't find anything.
Everything's fine. Kids are unbelievably creative when it comes to hiding what they don't want you to [00:12:00] find. So. You will need to look in their alarm clock. You will want to look in anything electronic that has batteries, that little battery area where you pop off the outer piece of whatever it is around the battery.
There is space there to hide things. Makeup containers that you would probably not. Ever think about like lip glosses, lipsticks tampon boxes, air vents in their bedroom, uh, behind posters, candy wrappers. All of these things are really ingenious places that kids find to hide things. So put on your Sherlock hat, do a little bit of research, and don't feel bad about it.
[00:12:40] Hard Truth #3
Number three, do not brush this off as a phase. And a lot of us as parents say, well, I smoked pot in high school, or I drank when I went to parties. It's really just a phase, you know? And we remember fondly, the post homecoming keggers and all of those things. But today's substances are not the same as they used to be, especially when you're talking about marijuana.
And that is something that you know, kids will throw back at you while you smoked pot when you were young. But the potency in cannabis today has. Skyrocketed from around 2% potency before 1990 to up to 28% potency in strains that are sold today. So we're talking a very different substance. And then when you add to [00:13:30] that, that they can vape it, that there's, dabbing, there's all kinds of different forms and potencies.
It's just a completely different game. And, you know, vaping is so rampant in high schoolers, middle school and high school, that it was even the topic of this US surgeon General's new health advisory. And then I just have to talk about the scariest one of all, which is illicit fentanyl, which is being cut into every substance that's out there that people are getting.
Brushing us off is a phase. Until you really have a handle on what's going on, it could be really, really dangerous. And I don't say that to scare you, I'm just saying you gotta stay on top of it. You have to really understand how often this is going on, who it's going on with, what substances are being used.
And it may be a phase, I'm not saying there aren't kids who don't go through a phase. There definitely are, but you would rather err on the side of being a little more cautious and really understanding than not because these substances, and we'll talk about this more in in point number four, these substances are deadly now.
And so there really isn't, you just don't really have the luxury of being able to look it over and just hope that it's gonna pass.
[00:14:49] About The Stream Community
Hey, I wanna pause for just a sec to talk about something that has been life changing for so many women who started right where you might be by listening to the show. If you're [00:15:00] feeling the isolation, the exhaustion, like nobody gets what you're going through, there is a place designed specifically for you.
The stream is our private community for moms and female caregivers for parenting teens and young adults through substance use and mental health struggles. And when I say private, I mean completely confidential. It is not connected to Facebook or any other platform, or your business could become everyone's business.
What members love about this stream is that you can be as visible or as anonymous as you want. Some moms jump right into conversations and calls. Others like to read and learn quietly in the background. Both are perfect. It's not social media. It's genuine community focused on learning growth and breaking through the isolation that might be keeping you from moving forward.
Right now. Whether your child is in active use in treatment or early recovery, you'll find practical strategies and tools that actually help motivate healthier choices because we know you wanna see positive change in your family. Check it out@hopestreamcommunity.org. We would love to welcome you into this village of support and understanding.
Okay, back to the show.
[00:16:18] Hard truth #4
Okay. Truth number four is that kids are dying of overdoses who are not addicted to drugs. These are not addicts. So if you are [00:16:30] thinking, I know my kid isn't addicted because they don't have any of the signs of addiction.
You could very well be right, and I hope that you are right, but their lack of true quote unquote addiction doesn't mean that they're not at risk for an overdose. This is because, like I said just previously, fentanyl is. Being created illegally produced illegally in China and Mexico. It is brought into the US and then it's cut into all kinds of different substances and what your kid may be thinking.
They're taking as, a leftover from their best friend's. wisdom tooth removal is actually Fentanyl cut with Oxycontin and it's stamped with Oxycontin. So they think they're actually taking Oxycontin. This is one of the reasons why you have kids who are star athletes. They are straight A students.
They're not addicted to drugs in any way, shape or form, and they are still dying of overdoses because you can take your very first pill of your entire life and that could be the one that is cut with too much fentanyl and you will not wake up. This is really Russian roulette and it doesn't matter how many.
Or how often they have been taking these pills, it will kill them because the potency is so strong and there is zero regulation, obviously, in the illicit drug market to make sure that there's a proper amount in that pill. [00:18:00] Again, pills that are even labeled as Xanax or as Oxycontin absolutely will have fentanyl cut into them.
And so kids who are thinking, oh, this is safe because I can see it says what it is on the, on the pill, on the marking, that is most likely not actually what it is.
[00:18:21] Hard truth #5
Truth number five, you are gonna have to learn some new skills and adopt a new mindset about substance use. So navigating these conversations and this time in your child's life really means that you have to take proactive steps and those proactive steps that you take and you invest the time in can alter the course of your child's relationships with substances.
But this is gonna take some ninja parenting. I'm not gonna lie to you. It is not easy. So up until you know the age of. 12, 13. We have a pretty great time with our kids and obviously there is, you know, parenting skills and discipline and all of that, but once you hit that. Tween to teen years. It takes next level parenting today with all the substances that are out there to be able to have productive conversations that will really result in positive emotions for your kids, positive actions by them.
And one of the greatest resources for this is motivational interviewing techniques, and [00:19:30] I won't go into it now. Let me know if you guys want, I will do an entire podcast or a series on motivational interviewing because it is really, I kind of call it the secret sauce of. Parenting to where you are not just telling your kids and demanding and threatening, you are actually creating a dialogue that helps them understand themselves and understand why they might want to not use drugs or why they might want to not drink at that party next weekend.
And it's magical when you learn those techniques and you can in. Really have a, a conversation with your kid that is open and positive, and it's not accusatory, it's not demeaning. So I can't stress enough how important that is. And the thing is that it also takes practice. So when you first start learning these skills, it can feel really clunky and really bumpy.
And you think, oh my gosh, I totally screwed that up. I, I. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said it in that way. I should have asked this question instead. And that's okay. They're still gonna learn from you and they're still gonna understand that you're trying to engage in a, in a really open conversation with them.
So don't put it off because it does take a little bit of time to start really understanding how to naturally have these conversations. And again, I'm gonna link. To resources in the show notes, but one of the best ones that I can recommend from having used it and other parents using it, is the partnership for Drug Free Kids [00:21:00] and all of the resources that they have there.
They have videos and books that you can just follow along and actually just listen to a video and watch a video of a parent interacting so that you can learn what the language sounds like.
[00:21:13] Hard truth #6
Okay. Number six, hard Truth is. Maybe one of the hardest, and that is that you're gonna have to look at your own substance use.
So this one's not fun or easy for any parent, but it is critical for laying a good foundation for your child. And so looking at how you use either alcohol or any other substances really. Requires a level of maturity. That might mean for now you need to either reduce what you're using or to quit what you're doing.
Really to be able to set an example of how you can live a life without chemically altering your state of mind, and again, this can be its own podcast in its own hour, but you may wanna engage a professional therapist or counselor for this one. especially in states where marijuana is legal there's a lot of confusion.
So you can imagine if you're a kid and you're watching your parents and you're watching your parents' friends, and if they're all using substances and using them regularly and using them openly around. Kids. It's gonna send a really mixed message. And I'm not saying that you have to quit or abstain, I just think it's really important to look at what message that might [00:22:30] be sending.
And one way to think about it is if you're doing it, would you be okay if your child's doing it? Even though they might not be 21, which is the legal age, let's say they turn 21 tomorrow, would you be okay with them consuming whatever you're consuming? And just think about that. But again, a therapist or counselor might be somebody that you should.
bring into your circle to, uh, to walk through that and really understand what that means for you and for the way you wanna live your life, and how that is going to impact your kiddos.
[00:23:02] Hard truth #7
Number seven, you really need to find out what is going on with your child if they are using, because it's actually not drugs or alcohol.
And I'll explain what I mean by that. So as a parent, it's really easy to see our kids using drugs or using alcohol, and we do a lot of work to fix that problem. We do a lot of work to get them to stop drinking or to stop smoking pot or to stop. Taking a Xanax or whatever it is that they're doing, and we put a hundred percent of our effort into mitigating that use, whether it's grounding them or searching their backpacks or checking in on them at friends' houses or smelling their car.
Whatever it is that we do, we focus all of our effort on fixing that problem. And what happens if we just do that is that we're excluding a deeper level of work. that [00:24:00] requires us to find out why they're doing that. Why are they doing substances? Why are they. Wanting to tune out or numb out or fit in or not stand out.
Which is a lot of the reason. So not every kid has been, traumatized and is using drugs to, to numb themself from that. I think there's a lot of kids who just use it to fit in and , they're drinking at the party 'cause everyone else is drinking at the party and they don't wanna stand out and they don't wanna be the one who's different.
So. think about when if you're in that situation, think yes, their substance use is really look at it more of a symptom. So if you're only trying to solve the symptom, put a bandaid on it. You're not really getting to why the, the. Injury happened in the first place, and I use the term injury lightly.
I don't mean that they have to be injured or traumatized greatly to be using substances. And so this is really where those pro-level parenting skills come in because if you're learning those, you're going to uncover what those root causes are and then you'll be able to work with that. And it doesn't mean that they're gonna just instantly stop and abstain and they're never gonna use a substance again.
But it's really important to understand your kid and why they're doing what they're doing, and that can just turn into such a beautiful conversation with them. If you're, you know, if you're, you're saying, Hey, I get it. I know you smoked last weekend, but let's talk [00:25:30] about like, what is that doing for you and why do you think you did that?
And it just creates an environment for them. Where they don't feel criticized and they don't feel like you're coming down on them just for doing this, but you're really trying to understand what's going on in their brain and in their body, and that's a really special thing to be able to do as a parent.
So make sure and, and really focus on some of those skills that will let you dig deeper than just what's going on on the surface.
[00:25:58] Hard truth #8
Number eight is the truth about spouses and partners. And that is that you are going to have to get on the same page and like the other seven. This is not easy. Just like when your kids were toddlers, your teenage child is going to figure out how to play one parent against the other and.
That will just create confusion and anger and anxiety and just chaos about their substance use. And they know this. And so they'll find the smallest little crack in your alignment and they will drive a canyon between the two of you. And so that is just one of the hardest. Things that you're gonna have to do is to figure out how to get on the same page.
And I hear this very frequently. The parents are not on the same page that one parent thinks it's a phase. The other parent is very worried, wants to take more serious action, and there's just a lot of tension. Between the parents, which then gets felt by the child. And so I didn't put these [00:27:00] in order of importance.
Maybe I should have done that, but I would put this near the top of things to do because if you're doing all of the others, but you and your spouse are on a different page, it just creates a breeding ground for confusion and kind of a, a little, escape route for your child to say, ah, well they can't even figure it out.
They can't get on the same page, so what the heck? I'm not gonna try and, do it. So trying to get aligned on those things. And it may mean some education, it may mean a, again, a therapist or a family counselor to really spend the time that you need to. Walk through this with your spouse, your partner, or maybe it's an ex-spouse or partner that you're having to do this with, and you've gotta really talk about your own viewpoints about substance use.
What are your beliefs? What are your fears? You know, what do you fear most about this? And whatever it takes to get on the same page. You really need to do that because you've got to come. Into this as a united front because this is a very serious issue, and when it has to do with your child's health and their wellbeing and even their life, they need to see that their mom and dad, their, parents who may be divorced or a stepparent.
It's so important for them to see that you are locked and loaded on your viewpoints, on what is acceptable in your household and what's not. And that they're not able [00:28:30] to drive that wedge between you.
[00:28:33] Hard truth #9
Number nine, get some professional help before you think you need it. So if you're listening to this.
That probably means there's something going on that's making you either suspicious or worried or you've confirmed your suspicion and you're worried, and that means it is past time to get help. Some of the initial things that I hear most from parents and that I went through some of the initial
yellow lights and warning lights that go on are things like kids sneaking out of the house at night or going out and not coming home. So you're getting the phone call or the text at 11 or so saying, oh, I'm gonna spend the night here. I'm gonna spend the night there. Or, you're not getting a phone call at all and your child's not coming home, or you actually have witnessed them either being high or being drunk.
Sometimes it's shoplifting. Sometimes it's skipping school, so you're getting the robo call from the school saying that your child was not in a certain period that day. Or if you're getting that nagging feeling in your stomach, that is the time to pull in professional help and get that person on your team and.
Don't think of getting help as this admission of, oh, I'm,, not adequate as a parent, or I don't have the right skills. As a parent, when you call in somebody who has decades of experience and degrees and [00:30:00] certifications in a very specific topic, that is really you. Being stronger and more proactive and a better parent because you're saying, I wanna get the best help in my corner to help my child.
so don't look at this as a resigning to, okay, I couldn't do it on my own. Now I have to bring in somebody else. look at it as you being a very positive, very. Educated and alert parent to know that you probably, unless you're a therapist, you probably don't have four to eight to 10 years of schooling and education and how to.
Have a conversation and deal with teenagers, adolescents, young adults who are using substances. I know I didn't, and I spent a lot of time trying to do that and, and to have these conversations and to resolve this on my own. And I can tell you for a fact, an advertising executive or a pilot or a lawyer or a grocery store checker, or a PE teacher or a bus driver, we just don't have the skills that are needed.
You can learn them. But you don't necessarily have them at the get go right when you need them. Right when your child is, is in need of them. So know that you're the strongest and bravest parent if you do reach out and ask for help. And that might be a free community resource. That might be online resources if you know, if you're [00:31:30] really in a situation where you can't afford to hire a therapist or a counselor.
But even Medicaid does provide for certain levels of mental health. Treatment. So don't just assume that whatever your situation is, don't assume that you can't afford it. Really dig in and find out. Many therapists have a sliding scale fee, so they'll take a look at your income and they'll adjust their fee.
So if you see the $150 per hour rate and that just. It is just way out of the realm of possibility for you still call and ask if they have a sliding scale fee, because most of the time they do. They wanna help you. That's why they went into the profession. So, just be very vigilant about finding the help that you need and be proud of yourself for doing it.
[00:32:19] Hard truth #10
number 10 is the positive truth, but I think parents don't believe it. And that is that you do absolutely influence your teen's behavior and their beliefs. So do not give up. And there's research on this, just abundant research that shows that parents absolutely influence their kids' substance use, and in fact, that they are the most influential.
factor in kids deciding what they do in those situations where there's an opportunity to use a substance. So even if your kid is experimenting or if they're actively using and they're potentially even addicted, don't give up because you are input and your [00:33:00] guidance really makes a difference.
if you are vague about. What you believe and what's acceptable in your house and what your boundaries are and what the rules are. They'll push that they're teenagers. That's kind of their job. That's how they're wired, is they're gonna push any boundary that looks like there's not a firm line.
So know that you are influential. Draw those lines and don't be vague about it. Pull in your professional help. Get those PhDs and licensed social workers on your side and on your team, and just know that you absolutely do have influence and keep talking and keep modeling for them the behavior that you want to see in them because they're watching.
And they're listening, and it may not look like it, it may look like they're, , in a completely different realm. Like they're an alien that you've, you don't even know what world they live in, but they are watching you and they're listening to you. And again, it may be a couple of years down the line before you see the results of that, but know that it actually is happening.
[00:34:07] Recap of the 10 Hard Truths
So there you go. The ten hard truths that you need to know as a parent. If your child is experimenting with drugs. I'll go through them quickly the 10 hard truths, number one, it's probably more than what they're telling you. Number two, it's okay to search their room if you suspect that they're using drugs or alcohol. Number three, don't [00:34:30] brush this off as a phase. Number four, kids are dying of overdose who are not addicted to drugs. Number five, you're gonna have to learn some new skills and adopt a new mindset about substance use.
Number six, you're gonna have to look at your own substance use. Number seven, you'll need to find out what the problem is because it's not drugs or alcohol. Number eight, if you have a spouse or partner or an ex-spouse or partner, you're going to have to get on the same page. Number nine, get professional help before you think you need it.
And number 10, you do absolutely influence your teen's behavior and beliefs.
Okay, my friend. If you want the transcript or the show notes and resources from this episode, just go to our website, hopestream community.org, and click podcast. That'll take you to all things podcast related. We even have a start here playlist that we created, so if you're new here, be sure to check that out.
Also, if you're feeling anxious and confused about how to approach your child's substance use, we have got a free ebook for you. It's called Worried Sick, A compassionate guide for parents of teens and young adults misusing drugs and alcohol. It'll introduce you to ways that you can build connection and relationship with your child versus distancing and letting [00:36:00] them hit rock bottom.
It is a game changer and it's totally free. Just go to Hopestreamcommunity.org/worried to download that. You are amazing, my friend. You are such an elite level parent. It is an honor to be here with you and please know you're not doing this alone. You've got this tribe and you will be okay sending all my love and light and I will meet you right back here next week.
I.